what parents of teens need to know about social media and phones pamplet

Fifty-fifty though they're no longer a couple, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie both recently confirmed they put prophylactic measures on the internet to provide boundaries for their children. They definitely programme to keep sentry on their social media employ as they age. Apple CEO Tim Cook recently suggested he wouldn't want his nephew on a social network. Years ago, Apple Founder Steve Jobs said he didn't want his kids to even own an iPad. Why? It's uncomplicated. Children'south health experts warned (on Facebook) that excessive use of digital devices and social media "is harmful to children and teens."

I run across faculty and parents frequently who are sharing these concerns and asking the same questions near social media use. I realize I've written much about this in the past, simply maybe a short Q and A guide, based on research, would be helpful here.

Source: Photopin

1. How much is too much social media use?

One written report by UNICEF reports that "some time on social media is actually good" and that "digital technology seems to be benign for children'due south social relationships." On social media, we can connect with friends, give to charities and be informed of what'southward happening around the globe. With too much time, all the same, screens can become dissentious to our mental wellness. The key is to separate understandable concerns with actual information on the subject.

Believe it or not, the average teen today spends about ix hours a day on a screen. That'southward similar a full-time job. According to Monitoring the Future, merely 2 hours on social media has been shown to contribute to anxiety and unhappiness among teens. I advise, a 60-xc minute limit each day. The other hours should exist filled with face-to-face hours with friends, sports, work, activities, studies, and family. This ratio has been shown to produce happier kids and better students. Farther, it results in more satisfied young adults. I recognize this volition be a major shift for some teens—and so if you cull to do this, start with a chat nigh making a deadening, steady change.

2. Should nosotros monitor our kids' social media employ? If so, how?

Parents differ on their opinions virtually whether to check what their kids are doing on social media sites. Some believe their children deserve privacy and should not worry about mom or dad checking on them. I differ, but considering I've seen too many case studies of kids non being fully aware of the dangers of predators, mental health problems and fifty-fifty cyber-bullies who hide behind a screen to wreak havoc on peers. What's more than, teens receive propositions from adults with wrong intentions and from others who appoint in sexting. The teens in our focus groups told the states boldly, "My parents have no idea what my life is similar at night and what I do on social media." This suggests to me that they're up to something their parents may not back up. The statistics reveal that 71% of teens admit to hiding online activities from their parents. As long as they are minors, I believe it's wise for parents or guardians to cheque their children'due south social media posts.

And so, here are some apps you can explore to monitor your teen's activity on a telephone:

i. Norton

This allows you to set phone time limits and filter web content coming in.

2. TeenSafe

This allows you lot to track your child's calls, texts, GPS and social media activity.

3. MobSafetyRangerBrowser

This enables you to view your kid'due south website browsing and set fourth dimension limits.

iv. PhoneSheriff

This enables you lot to practise all of the in a higher place, but it is available for fewer devices.

v. DinnerTime

This allows yous to limit phone Internet use during family meals.

vi. Qustodio

This allows you to track and set a phone curfew where phones shut downward.

There are actually several other apps that empower a parent to know what's happening on their kid's phone. While they are minors, I recall you lot should know.

One other idea might be for parents to encourage their children to utilize privacy settings to ensure their posts are going out to a select fix of friends.

three. What are some symptoms that a student needs to cut back on social media?

Co-ordinate to Common Sense Media, fifty% of teens say they are addicted to their cellphone. While CSM concludes more study is needed to determine how deep digital habit is, teens feel the symptoms and consequences of it. It's a growing issue in middle-class America. 2-thirds of parents, 66%, experience their teens spend too much fourth dimension on their mobile devices. Phones accept now replaced teens hanging out at the mall or at the movies. Information technology'southward a new day.

At that place are a number of signals a young person naturally sends that they've spent besides much fourth dimension on social media platforms or on their mobile device in general:

• Withdrawing from face-to-face social interaction.
• Consistent anxiety, stress or feeling overwhelmed by normal routines.
• Grades brainstorm to slip and assignments reflect poor work or are left undone.
• Avoidance of real-life responsibilities, such equally chores or homework.
• Sick at ease, ill-equipped or unresponsive to people in front of them.
• Phubbing—teens snub people next to them by looking downwardly at their phone.
• Phones begin to create disharmonize in their closest relationships.

A few years ago, I suggested a grouping of college students "surrender their phones" for a day. It was an experiment. What did nosotros all find? The first two hours were horrific, not unlike a drug addict giving up their drugs, cold turkey. After a couple of hours, all the same, the solar day began to experience less stressful. The students felt liberated from the tether of their device. By the day'southward cease, they told me how nice it was to not exist enslaved to that phone and that they wanted to "unplug" on a regular ground.

four. How do I handle arguments about their portable devices?

Millions of parents accept walked into landmines, equally they disagree with their child on any number of mobile phone use or social media sites. Emotional debates occur, which tin separate parents and kids and lead to a breakdown in communication.

I take a suggestion that has worked for many parents along the style. It'south a pace that not just guides the conversations on this topic simply prepares teens for the world they are about to mature into every bit adults: a contract.

In 2013, I posted an article on our website about a "phone contract" between a mom and her kid. The mother had purchased her daughter's phone (as is unremarkably the case) and the agreement enabled her (from the get-go) to outline the terms. In it, she basically reminds her child that Mom bought the phone and, therefore, owns the phone. Any time the child violates the agreement, the child must give up the device for a period of time. This is not unlike a contract a customer might enter with AT&T or Sprint or another carrier. The difference is, this agreement is laced with love and understanding. If a parent hosts a conversation and lays out the terms before purchasing the device, things generally go meliorate. Both parties agree to it and sign it. The key is that the parent must stick to the terms and enforce them.

5. Should we exist friends with our children on social media?

This probably depends on the personality and age of your child. Some parents and kids connect well via smartphone and others exercise non. According to Pew Research:

• 53% are friends with their parents. This tends to piece of work amend when the child is between 12-14. By ages 15-21 it frequently feels "smothering" to them. Then, after equally a young developed, it seems to experience OK again to them.
• 47% are friends with their children on Facebook. This feels nice to the parent only it's usually the reason many teens get off Facebook and on to other sites.
• 41% are connected with people they have never met in person. Teens do this because information technology feels adventuresome, yet rubber. Later on all, it's only a screen. Later, however, information technology oftentimes leads to LMIRL: Allow'southward Meet In Existent Life and tin can be dangerous.

Whatever the example, most parents tin can banking company on one matter for sure: your child may befriend you on a social media site like Facebook or Instagram, only they likely have platforms where they use fake identities y'all know nothing nigh. A parent may assume they know all about their teens, but would be shocked if they knew the total corporeality of personas their children actually use.

For example, consider "Finsta." This is a fake Instagram persona, where teens can create a totally fraudulent identity and post things you may never know almost. They might accept five Snapchat accounts or several Twitter accounts. Just know that if you lot and your kid connect on ane platform, that doesn't mean information technology's the only one they employ. It may exist helpful to talk about this with them, or even talk to i of their friends to naturally observe if there are whatsoever personas you lot don't know about.

I may sound similar an "quondam-school" leader who'due south only not up with the times. I debate, all the same, our kids need adept leadership from us. Their phones can be helpful rather than dissentious if we lead them intentionally.

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Source: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/artificial-maturity/201803/parent-s-guide-social-media-use-kids

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